I’ve never been a sentimental person, to me getting older is just a part of life, I used to roll my eyes when someone mentioned how their child was 18 months old like your child is one. Then you arrived into the world and my perception of everything changed for the first year of your life you were a dream, you slept, ate, shat and went back to sleep and you pretty much did this for the first eleven months of your life, I’ll be honest I questioned a few times if you were a little bit defunct because I’d only ever read horror stories of how children never slept, they just screamed and ruined your waist line.
I decided that I wanted to write about you because you my darling girl have made me the woman I am today, back in February I opened up my laptop and started “mum anxiety” this was a platform to share my thoughts and feelings however I never thought it was something I would make public but I wanted to. So in April I changed my blog handle and started Winging it with Harper, this is all for you to hopefully build a world where I can always be at home and be your mama and we can make so many memories and adventures. We’re lucky that Dada works as hard as he does so I can be home with you all day but baby girl that’s why I started this blog so I could try to have the best of both worlds. Admittedly everything I currently do is for free but the reason I do this is to build for your future.
So I wanted to start a new blog series just talking about you something that hopefully you could read. Probably the only part of my blog I’ll ever let you read and show any partner you might bring home for the fun of it.
You have now been a fully fledged human for 15 months my lord they have gone quickly it still only feels like yesterday I was sat in the hospital with you questioning what on earth had happened and how everything was now going to change, This month alone you have taught me so many new things. How Pops is your favourite human at the moment and nothing or no one is going to let you be told otherwise that you have to leave his side. How you’ve incorporated the fact we call the cat Bug & refer to him as your brother into “Bugger”. I’m going to be honest kid it’s not ideal and I get some funny looks when you shout “WHERE BUGGER” out in public but I know its because Lucifer even though he isn’t a big fan of you, you’re a big fan of him. You’re currently going through a stage of if i’m sat down watching something on TV you’re totally happy to sit by yourself and look at your book and play with your toys, but god forbid I dare to do anything constructive because you lose your tiny mind. You’re at a stage where you’re feral and wonderful in equal measures and it blows my mind how resilient you are. Your current favourite toy is a musical unicorn that i’ll admit I’ve considered hiding at the bottom of your toy box because i’ll be perfectly honest it drives me insane but you love it. You’ve smashed walking and like to try and run subsequently you fall on your face a lot. I find it hilarious sorry but I’ve worked out that if I laugh you do too.
We’re now going to cover some of the not so fun things that you do, the things that I’m pretty sure are going to turn me grey any day now, the blind in our living room is destroyed all by your handy work you’re obsessed and frankly its a little bit annoying because It’s our landlords blind and I don’t think they’re going to be very happy with us. You’ve got a fascination with my ears at the moment for some unknown reason, you like to take my plug out and stick your tiny fingers through the hole. I hate it, I hate my ears being touched and you’ve picked up on this to do it more. You find time out hilarious and will literally spend your whole minute on your naughty chair giggling totally defeating the reason you’ve been put on the chair and making me giggle with you. Lastly you HATE naps with a passion it’s not ideal because you’re then irritated and like to take a bite out of whatever body part of mine is closest to you at that time Its normally my knee.
At times I’ll be honest I struggle with your strong willed attitude and wonder how the hell I’m going to cope when you’re a teenager but that’s a long time away. I’ve learnt not to dwell on things to much because as confusing as being a parent is to me, being a tiny human must be so much more confusing to you. The world is a big scary place and you’re a tiny perfect person.
I can’t promise the world you’re growing up in will be perfect nor can I promise that it will be safe because kid the world is scary. However I promise to keep you safe for as long as I can, I promise to protect you for as long as I can. Every decision I make is for you. Moving away next year is all for you to give you a life I never had and always craved, I want to give you a perfect life and having to leave some people behind in order to do that is worth it because it’s for you.
So that’s month 15 of your life. I’m so excited to start this series to document all the adventures we get up to along the way.
Love Mama xx