Things you might hear in your first year as a mum.

Things you might hear in your first year as a mum.

So since I’ve been an owner of a child for a year now I thought I’d list things people told me in my first year of being a mum and how I wanted to punch some of them in the face.

  1. “I breast fed so you should breast feed”:  Well we’re 6 weeks and the milks run dry how do you suppose I do that!? Moron.
  2. “You’re holding them wrong this is how you’re meant to hold them”I mean I’m not holding her upside down by her ankles!? We’re good.
  3. You’re putting her in pink you’re assuming she is a girl followed a few months later by a complete stranger why is she wearing a strong girls top, how do you know she is a girl? BECAUSE SHE HAS A VAGINA AND UNTIL SHE TELLS ME SHE’D RATHER BE HENRY THAN HARPER SHE’S HARPER. Leave her to be little you absolute hell beasts.
  4. “She should be walking by now” You should be keeping your nose out of other people’s business but here we are! Lets remember all children are different and will do things at their pace not yours.
  5. “She’s a little girl, She should be in pink and dresses” : I mean gender stereotyping much! Best thing was by a woman in jeans and a black top. so also a hypocrite.
  6. “Make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps” Yes and when I wake up a magical fairy will have popped in and cleaned the flat.

There’s loads more but let’s be honest we’d be here all day. Everyone assumes because they have a child or know a child they know your child, you’ll have people tell you your way is wrong because it isn’t their way, you’ll have people who with all the best intentions in the world will want to help and say the totally wrong thing. There’s people that when you’re trying to blow off steam about how much of an arse your child is being and they’ll go on to say some child they know is being a saint .. It’s great to hear another child is impeccably behaved but not when you’ve just been bitten for the millionth time that day. Parenting is hard and we’re constantly battling against the world, social media and the impressions of others you’ll feel like you’re failing and totally drowning. We all feel like that.

If your child is happy, healthy and is loving life. Fuck the opinions of others you’re doing an amazing job!


K xxx



  1. September 23, 2017 / 8:34 pm

    Shouldn’t she be sleeping through the night by now?!

    • September 23, 2017 / 8:35 pm

      She slept through from 6 weeks with the odd occasion so never really got that one 🙈 haha

      • September 23, 2017 / 8:39 pm

        Boo took 21 months to figure it out so it was usually the first thing out of people’s mouths!

        • September 23, 2017 / 8:42 pm

          I would of just been like yeah but sleep is for the weak didn’t you know that? I love sleep but I’d just pretend I didn’t to throw them haha!

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