When are you going to have another?

When are you going to have another?

When are you going to have another baby is probably the most asked question I've been heard since having Harper, I had it in the first week of her being born, like woah slow down let me just enjoy this one and let my vagina stop hurting first yeah? Once you've had a baby everyone seems to become obsessed with your uterus and when it'll be squeezing out another human.  I read a quote the other day that simply said Mind your own uterus.

I come from a blended family, I have a biological brother, a step brother and two step sisters. We're not close like at all, I see my sisters once in a while if we happen to be at my dads at the same time, I see my step brother at the odd family occasion and my biological brother, we have no relationship we don't talk nor do I honestly think we ever will again. Growing up he and I never really got along, everyone talks about sibling rivalry but this was a whole new level. It was pretty much a war zone in our family home constantly for various different reasons.

So when the question comes of when are you going to have another? The answer is erm never? My own relationship with my siblings has put me off giving Harper a sibling. Does that make me selfish? Maybe. Maybe not. You constantly hear people being like oh well single children are spoilt, they aren't the best at sharing, they get lonely blah blah blah. That might be the case for some children but not for all, It's all down to nurture, your child learns from you and the people you are surrounded by, if you allow them not to share during their interactions and make a point of this is their toy and only their toy, They're not going to share. Same with any child its all down to how they're being raised.

Don't get me wrong we have spoken about expanding our brood one day but I don't want my daughter having the same situation as myself, I don't want her to feel as if she can't go to a family event because their sibling is there and she will feel that it will just cause a problem. I genuinely feel sorry for my dad with our situation because of the hostility of the relationship he has to do multiple events for family occasions because we just can't be around each other. My mother doesn't have a relationship with him so it doesn't really affect her.

Do I think the hostility of our relationship was down to how we were raised? Yes. We were raised by an amazing woman who couldn't read until she was 21 due to her own disabilities from having severe epilepsy as a child, However she doesn't always handle things in the best way and would admit that herself, Our dad was in and out of our lives growing up, some through his own fault some through my mothers and the influence she had breathing down her neck, the same influence was mentally abusive towards me up until a few years ago when they got cut from my life. We also grew up around a very sick grandfather he had picks disease but we didn't know that until it was far too late, I idolised him but being a child I never really understood why he was the way he was. When I was 5 he bit me so hard that I wet myself through fear, now I'm not justifying his actions but the fact he was a very unwell man I never held it against him.

I find the question when you going to have another, is a huge invasion of privacy especially when it comes from strangers. You never really know what's going on in a strangers world. Whether the reason they can't answer your question because answering that question hurts, because they've not actually thought about it yet or because their vagina or c-section scar is throbbing like a robin and the thought of going through that again any time soon is enough to make you want to pepper spray your partner every time they come near you. You don't know if the person you're asking has just been through the recent loss of a baby or cant afford another round of IVF to give them a second baby. The comments that follow well not right now or we're happy as we are normally meet with the spoilt etc. That reply will probably be met with a smile but on the inside we're punching you in the face.

So for now the Fox-Robinson household is a trusty 5 piece maybe one day we'll become 6 maybe we wont. My uterus will do it's thing.

 

K xx

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