So its almost the end of my first mothers day and its been the most beautiful day, Breakfast in bed, presents for absolutely no other reason than there’s a day which says mothers are awesome and you must spoil them, a trip to a wildlife park and making memories making up for being epic twat mum on Thursday.
This however got me thinking about all the people who aren’t a biological mummy to a child in their lives and how much they deserve a day for just being fucking awesome.
Step mothers I have one my boyfriend has one, they’re absolutely magical aren’t they? These ladies don’t have to love you, protect you, make sure you’re ok but they do. You’re not theirs. You’re part of the package that is their partner and you and because of the love they have for their partners its flowed onto you.
Foster Mums – You ladies are legends, you take children from all sorts of backgrounds and lifestyles, you love them and keep them safe for the time you are apart of their life until they grow up or go to a new family or back home to their families. You provide so many children with a listening ear or even just a hug & I cant even imagine how heartwarming and heart breaking this experience is but you all seem to take it in your stride and keep showing love.
God mothers – I don’t personally have any relationships with my godmothers but my daughter does, These ladies are special aren’t they? They love you because you’re from their friend and have been trusted to be a special part of your life – for instance if i died, I know for a fact these ladies would step up and continue to be apart of Harpers life.
Dads – I haven’t forgotten you! yes there is fathers day in June but this is about MAD, mum and dad the dudes that do it all. The ones who for whatever reason raise their children all by themselves this day is also for you like fathers day is for the ladies that do it all. You guys are special, society shows that its normally the single mother and rarely do single dads get a shout out. you are just as special and awesome.
Adoptive mothers – The ladies who brings a child into their life for life to love and to care for as if they were their own, The notion of adopting is something that I’ve always been interested in but never looked into, the wanting to be a mummy so much but for whatever reason being unable to have children – Or just loving children so much you want to nurture them because they don’t have that in their lives at the moment and love them so passionately like they were your own biological child.
This also got me thinking about the relationship with my own mother. My mother has learning difficulties and other physical disabilities however she is so incredibly head strong, half the time there is no point arguing with her because she will just knock you down. This is going to sound awful but this is my blog and like always i’ll be honest. It was difficult growing up with her I love her with all of my heart but it was difficult. If someone annoyed her you knew about it, in fact everyone knew about it. I grew up with a brother and a step brother and i’ll be honest too the reason i didn’t have much of a relationship with my mum growing up was as horrible as it sounds was because of them.. My brother got himself into a lot of bother growing up so mums time was consumed in sorting his shit out. My grandparents took a lot of my mums time as well when my granddad was alive he wasn’t a very well man and his own issues took up a lot of my mums time. When my step brother was round we always spent the weekend doing what the boys wanted.. I know i’m probably sounding like a whinging bitch but growing up everything was about them and i was kind of just the quiet kid in the background at home. I learnt to bottle things up because i knew the immense stress she was under, whenever i went to talk to her it was not now Kerry. I’m busy, can it wait? so i just shrugged it off and thought oh it’ll be easier to keep my problems to myself, I ended up going to counselling several times throughout my childhood to cope with how i was being made to feel by my own Mother.
As I’ve got older and the boys moved out of course our relationship got better but there was a lot of hostility on my side “Oh now you want to listen” was my most used line. I’ve been vile to her through what I’ve said to cope with my problems. I never for a second sat back & thought well I’ve always acted like I’m ok with the world maybe that’s why i was left to it. I never for a second growing up sat back and thought its not because she doesn’t care, its because I painted this picture that i had my shit together so in a way it took the stress off her. No matter how horrible i was to her growing up she still loves me and we’ve finally got ourselves back on track.
In spite of all of that though my mother is also one of the kindest women you could ever hope to meet and will drop things now if i desperately need her. Everything she has ever done has been for her family and with all she faced growing up she’s handled it so beautifully. Today we actually spent the day together and it was so amazing to see how much my little girl loves her Nana and to see how much my mum dotes on her.
Becoming a mother has taught me one very important thing i must always make time for my little girl, I must always drop what i’m doing if she needs me. However i also need to do what my mum did for me.. I need to show her how to be strong. I need to remember she is still allowed to feel down and will need to confide in me about her problems.
I’m so blessed that I’m the mummy to an amazing little girl.