My Plea to Fathers & Extended family.

Dear Fathers, Grandparents & Extended family.

If you’re an unmarried parent I have one plea. Please stop referring to your child as just your last name.

Yes on paper the child may have your last name but that’s only part of who they are. They are half of you and half of their mummy. When children hit milestones or have certain attributes to yourself please stop yourself from saying in front of your partner well they are -insert your last name here- . I have to deal with this issue on quite a regular basis and I’ll be honest it hurts my heart mainly because its rare i ever hear well she is a Fox too.

On our daughters birth Certificate she is Harper Rey Alice Robinson but that’s not just who she is that’s her name. Shes half me and half her dad & i’m honestly fucking sick to the back teeth of hearing from people oh shes got the Robinson this the Robinson that. Rarely do I hear oh she looks like you or has your facial features – To me it feels like all I did was carry her for nine months and give birth to her that’s where our resemblance ends.

I know there is probably no malice in what is being said but regardless it still hurts. I wanted Harper’s last name to be double barreled and the honest reason is because I knew what would happen. It happened to my mum when i was younger and now it seems to me that the same is happening.

How I see it personally, maybe I’m wrong in how i feel it but its my blog and i can feel and write what the hell i like. Harper isn’t a Robinson, She isn’t a Fox. She’s Harper, regardless of our attributes she’s going to be whoever the hell she likes. shes going to be her. If she wants to eat lots its because shes hungry and hasn’t yet learnt the I’m full I’ll leave that yet, If she wants to sleep all night that’s because shes awesome not because me and her dad like sleep. Some of her personality traits she will obviously learn from us but she’ll use that to create the person she wants to be as she grows. Her looks she doesn’t look exactly like me she doesn’t look exactly like her daddy shes a mixture of both of us and in my opinion (Because I’m biased) Shes the most beautiful baby that I’ve ever seen.

 

So to anyone reading this today – Please do not just refer to your baby as just you. They aren’t just you.

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