Mum anxiety

So i decided to start this blog to write about the life struggle as a mum with high social anxiety.

First things first my name is Kerry and for the last Eleven years I’ve been living with Depression, high social anxiety and mixed split personality disorder.

I have the most amazing little family, i have a boyfriend who i adore, two fluffy babies who are my life and the most gorgeous, funny & sassy little girl who completes our little family.

Childhood was far from easy but that is a whole other story for another day.

My little girl completed our family on July 30th 2016 being pregnant with her was hell. i hated being pregnant and my mind was an absolute mind field. there was times when i was like right i don’t want to do this i cant do this I’m not fit to be a mum and she would be better off with someone else. i was ill, in and out of hospital and honestly thought i was not cut out for mum life. Our lives were flipped upside down in June with a blast from my boyfriends past but if anything that situation made us stronger and made me more determined to be a good mum to our little girl.

When she was born.. i struggled again.. anyone who knows me knows i live for my bed, sleep is my best friend and when a tiny screaming sleep thief entered my world i was like WHAT IS THIS?! my anxiety really kicked in during the first few weeks. I some how entered back into the i cant do this, she would be better off with another family etc etc. i HATED myself for these thoughts..now the thought of even being away from her for the day breaks my heart i miss her from the moment i leave to the moment i return.. so knowing i had these thoughts during her first few weeks is something i will never forgive myself for..

so there’s a little insight and I’ll be updating more in the coming days

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