First things first my name is Kerry and for the last Eleven years I’ve been living with Depression, high social anxiety and mixed split personality disorder.
I have the most amazing little family, i have a boyfriend who i adore, two fluffy babies who are my life and the most gorgeous, funny & sassy little girl who completes our little family.
Childhood was far from easy but that is a whole other story for another day.
My little girl completed our family on July 30th 2016 being pregnant with her was hell. i hated being pregnant and my mind was an absolute mind field. there was times when i was like right i don’t want to do this i cant do this I’m not fit to be a mum and she would be better off with someone else. i was ill, in and out of hospital and honestly thought i was not cut out for mum life. Our lives were flipped upside down in June with a blast from my boyfriends past but if anything that situation made us stronger and made me more determined to be a good mum to our little girl.
When she was born.. i struggled again.. anyone who knows me knows i live for my bed, sleep is my best friend and when a tiny screaming sleep thief entered my world i was like WHAT IS THIS?! my anxiety really kicked in during the first few weeks. I some how entered back into the i cant do this, she would be better off with another family etc etc. i HATED myself for these thoughts..now the thought of even being away from her for the day breaks my heart i miss her from the moment i leave to the moment i return.. so knowing i had these thoughts during her first few weeks is something i will never forgive myself for..
so there’s a little insight and I’ll be updating more in the coming days